How Human Design Can Help You Heal Relationships With Family

Before I discovered Human Design, I felt a lot of compassion and understanding for my parents and siblings, but not always and not in every way. I realize that this is not so easy and maybe not so common, and that I have a predisposition for handing out compassion. But stay with me.

I was raised in a very loving and very dysfunctional family. I never went hungry and I knew my parents loved me, and in that way I’m enormously privileged. But we all had a really hard time together. There was a lot of moving from one place to another, a lot of family break ups, and a lot of trauma. Dysfunction is considered by some the new norm, so maybe this sounds very familiar to you.

After moving out of the house, in my early adult years before discovering Human Design, I had worked through a lot and knew that my parents and siblings had their own baggage and trauma. I knew very well that my parents did the absolute best that they could, and I was so grateful to them.

Enter Human Design, and all of a sudden I could see who they really were. It was like I had a map to who my family was right in front of me. I could see all their vulnerabilities and how that trauma and conditioning got to them. I could see all the beautiful strengths they had that the world had covered up and taught them to be enemies with. I could see their pain. I could see their beauty and purpose.

I could see how they were just like me.

This is a huge gift that Human Design gives us. We usually start with ourselves and our own chart, developing compassion for the ways in which we’ve been out of alignment with who we really are. Then it shifts. We realize that this also has enormous implications about the people in our lives.

Maybe that explains why your sister is super competitive and cut-throat. Maybe it explains why your uncle barely leaves his couch. Maybe it explains why your mom is so emotionally avoidant.

And then you can allow them to be that way because you see their vulnerability and how the world has caused them pain and conditioned them. You can begin to love them for all the good and the bad.

Because this has happened to you. This has happened to all of us.

I’ll leave you with two thoughts.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Even parents raising their children with the knowledge of their Human Design will STILL screw their children up in some way. That’s part of life and it’s ok. Human Beings are resilient. We’re designed to grow and overcome.

And lastly, everyone is always doing the best they can with their level of awareness. We can remember this to have compassion for ourselves and everyone else.